lady_deathangel ([info]lady_deathangel) wrote in [info]kickthespeakers,
2008-12-13 00:18:00
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feels like: you don't have a body- Brendon/Spencer

feels like: you don't have a body
[info]lady_deathangel~*~ 42,543 ~*~ Brendon/Spencer, implied others ~*~ Adult ~*~ language, violence, sexual content, minor character death

Summary: In a world where werewolves, vampires, and humans live together in shaky and relative peace, Spencer finds a boy on the side of the road, naked, bruised and sporting vampire bites. Stopping to save him might just be the dumbest thing Spencer's ever done . . . or the best.

|| Disclaimer: So not true, so not claiming it is. Don't hurt me, don't sue me, don't read if you think it could be about you.

A/N: So, this has been a fairly long journey, although not nearly as long as the wordcount probably implies. This fic was written for [info]disarm_d for the [info]drawn_to fic exchange and if you think that's not a nerve-wracking prospect, think again! [info]disarm_d is an amazing author and I couldn't figure out what to write for her. She had so many great suggestions and I started an entirely different fic before I realized it was going nowhere and decided to try something more manageable. Over 40,000 words later and here I am with a fic about werewolves and the humans who love them, with added appearances by various vampires and a sequel looming somewhere in the distance. [info]disarm_d, I really hope you enjoy this and that it can be even a fraction of what you hoped for. Many, many thanks for your amazing prompts. Hugs and thanks also to the fabulous [info]foxxcub for organizing this and being an amazing addition to my flist. Thanks also to Li for the beta help and for being sweet and amazing; thanks to [info]weird_one for holding my hand through my first attempts at writing this, for plotting with me, listening to me worry and cry, and for encouraging me when I started all over from scratch. And most especially, thanks to [info]pressdbtwnpages, without whom this fic would probably not even exist. She was there every step of the way helping me plot, organize my thoughts, keep from stressing too much, as well as letting me ramble, send snippets and text messages about this verse, and capping it all off with a fantastic beta job. Any remaining mistakes are all mine. I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, but especially my recipient. Title from the song Body by The Servant and cut-text from the song Degausser by Brand New. ♥ ||

{part i}    {part ii}    {part iii}    {part iv}
Tags: adult, brendon/spencer, feels like:, nc-17, panic!fic

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[info]disarm_d

December 13 2008, 17:18:06 UTC 3 years ago Edited:  December 13 2008, 17:18:18 UTC

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! I am so excited to read this! Brendon belongs to himself, but finders keepers, right? I love where this is heading! :D :D :D

Also, ♥♥♥! You're so sweet! I had a hell of a time finished my story for the exchange, and it's only a fraction as long as yours. This is a really challenging and busy time of year; I don't want you to feel added stress in writing the story. I shall wait very patiently (but excited! So excited!) for the final copy. ♥

[info]lady_deathangel

December 15 2008, 19:42:29 UTC 3 years ago

:D I'm glad you're excited for it!!!

And I just thought you'd like to know that I'm about to send off the first completed draft to beta (41,000+ words, so it took me a bit longer to finish than I thought!) and it should be posted ASAP. Thanks for being so patient!

♥

[info]lady_deathangel

3 years ago

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[info]kita0610

December 15 2008, 03:02:27 UTC 3 years ago

O o

Well, you damn sure got my attention.

[info]lady_deathangel

December 15 2008, 19:42:46 UTC 3 years ago

:D I'm glad!

[info]xbeax

December 15 2008, 05:43:09 UTC 3 years ago

this is going to be awesome, I can just tell!! :D

Can't wait for more omg

[info]lady_deathangel

December 15 2008, 19:43:08 UTC 3 years ago

Heeeee, I certainly hope so! ♥

[info]this_truth

December 15 2008, 18:52:12 UTC 3 years ago

This is really good, but you should clarify the it's chaptered or whatever. I (particularly) don't like to read in-progress fics (I do once they're finished), and I hate it when the author doesn't put a warning for it or at least a (1/?) in the title or whatever.

Aside from that, this is really good plotted, as far as it is. I love the idea of a supernatural world in relative peace (even through you spelled 'piece' instead of 'peace' in your summary, whoops!) between humans and creatures, there's not a lot of that in those kind of AUs. I also love hurt/comfort, and I can smell a lot of that for the future, so I'll be waiting for it to be completed anxiously. Good luck! and finish it soon ;D

[info]lady_deathangel

December 15 2008, 19:44:50 UTC 3 years ago

Well, it's not exactly chaptered and I never planned on posting in installments. The due date for my exchange just snuck up on me and I had to post something, so I decided to do a tiny snippet. It's more place-holder or preview than fic, which I mentioned in the author's notes. Sorry it wasn't more clear!

Thanks for reading, though! It's all finished and heading to beta as we speak and I'm really, REALLY excited for it. :)

[info]this_truth

3 years ago

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[info]cherrygal3

December 17 2008, 18:12:36 UTC 3 years ago

difuhfiuhiafbaiuibiv!

*cough* i mean dear lord my heart is pounding for this. I love it love it love it and can't wait for more!

[info]xbeax

December 18 2008, 17:03:30 UTC 3 years ago

*sighs*

I knew I was going to love this fic, and I so did~! :D The image of Ryan and Spencer as wolves a.k.a. overgrown puppies will stay with me for a long time. ^_^

And yay for the ending, I'm so happy Spencer and Brendon got together (sort of). I hope later on Brendon would want to belong to Spencer and have Spencer belong to him. (The sex would be hot drools)

But yeah. The bj scene was hot LOL I still wanted some penetration/claiming hahaha

I love supernatural fics and this one is one of my favorites. Spencer was so freaking awesome. the greatest!

[info]lady_deathangel

December 22 2008, 04:54:20 UTC 3 years ago

:D I'm so happy you enjoyed it!

I really want that for Brendon and Spencer, too. Hopefully in the sequel they can work their whole mess out. ;)

Thanks for reading and for your lovely comment. ♥

[info]disarm_d

December 18 2008, 20:09:21 UTC 3 years ago Edited:  December 18 2008, 20:11:15 UTC

SPENCER AND RYAN AS WEREWOLVES IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE, OH MY GOODNESS. I SERIOUSLY CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I FLAILED WHEN I READ THAT!!!!!!

He curls up around Ryan, head propped up on the curve of the other wolf’s spine, and pointedly closes his eyes. HE PRETENDS TO BE TIRED, OMG, THAT'S AMAZING. And Jon telling Brendon that they're not allowed chocolate! *_______* And Spencer tries to steal Ryan's steak, and just, UGG, every single thing about that scene filled me with glee.

And then Spencer killing Greta to protect Brendon! (I like the way you showed Greta in this story. Vampires are already kind of evil-mysterious because the protagonists are werewolves, PLUS there's the whole Brendon-betraying-her thing, so it didn't feel like you were just randomly demonizing a beloved bandom girl because there had to be a badguy. Also, Brendon as Greta's much beloved pet? Creepy but also totally, totally hot. *g* I am very much enjoying imagining that!)

Ohmygoddddddddddddd, Ryan biting Jon to save his life!!!!!!!!! THIS IS AN AWESOME STORY.

Possessive!Spencer was so well done in this story. I looooooove that he can smell Brendon, and that he wants to protect him and that they are ♥mfeo♥. You totally got all of the best parts of werewolf-type stuff in there, and I'm serious so grateful to get to read this! Brendon is Spencer's! Finder's keepers! Except Brendon also don't belong to anyone but himself. That added an excellent element of tension. Plus, just, seriously. Possessive!Spencer who can smell Brendon = so freakin' many ♥s!!

I thought you did a fabulous job of keeping up the tension, and moving the story along. It's a long story, but it never dragged and never felt rushed. I totally felt like I was in this whole other world. You had so many different characters, but they were still all fleshed out. (;_____________;, SHANE. HE WAS HOPING THAT BRENDON COULD TELL HIM WHY THEY AREN'T BOYFRIENDS. :'(((((((((((((( BABYYYYYYYYYY!)

I love this world so much, and I'm ridiculously happy to see that you're planning a sequel. I'm so curious about how everything is going to turn out! Ryan and Jon are werewolves together now! What is going to happen at the first full moon? Does Jon feel all possessive toward Ryan like Ryan feels toward him? WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEIR SENSES GO INTO OVER DRIVE!?!

Plus! Spencerrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I love love love love love the way you wrote Spencer. He's kind of aloof, but also so warm and loyal and he doesn't want Brendon to be afraid of him. He's always so careful, but he WANTS MORE!!!!! UST! \o/ \o/ \o/ Will he ever get to have Brendon the way he wants?!?!?

This comment is all over the place because I got to the part where they were OVER GROWN PUPPIES! and my glee overwhelmed me to the point where I had to start commenting, even though I had meant to wait until I was finished reading, so I'm sorry about that.

In summary: HELLO I LOVE THIS STORY THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT! :D :D :D :D :D

[info]lady_deathangel

December 22 2008, 05:01:42 UTC 3 years ago

YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW HAPPY THIS COMMENT MAKES ME IN MY HEEEAAART!

Really, though! I was so nervous writing for you and just wanted to give you something you'd enjoy even a little bit, so this response has made my entire weekend. I'm glad it all worked for you!

This feels like such an inadequate reply but I don't really know what to say other than YAY! I'm just so so happy you liked it. ♥

[info]airgiodslv

December 18 2008, 22:39:05 UTC 3 years ago

I really enjoyed this. It reminded me a bit of Underworld, with the racial tension and the urban setting, and I liked how you presented your characters as multi-dimensional. You didn't throw people away in this story, and that's something that people find all too easy to do. Well done!

[info]lady_deathangel

December 22 2008, 05:03:42 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it! <3

[info]savingcolours

December 18 2008, 23:00:37 UTC 3 years ago

This was so very awesome. Werewolves! Ryan and Spencer being like overgrown puppies! ♥ oh man. You did great with this verse. Loved this story! \o/

[info]lady_deathangel

December 22 2008, 05:04:21 UTC 3 years ago

Ugh, I love those boys as overgrown puppies! I could write them like that forever! ;)

Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. ♥

[info]engnrd_disaster

December 19 2008, 01:30:15 UTC 3 years ago

I really liked this. I eagerly await a sequel.

[info]lady_deathangel

December 22 2008, 05:04:59 UTC 3 years ago

Thanks so much! ♥

[info]bluelittlepig

December 19 2008, 09:00:16 UTC 3 years ago

I really enjoyed reading this. I love the verse that you created.

[info]lady_deathangel

December 22 2008, 05:05:36 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. :)

[info]justhush

December 20 2008, 05:27:36 UTC 3 years ago

Oh god, this was amazing. Spencer's pov was so hurty sometimes, and awesome and esdgonk. I love this. Werewolves! There should always be fic about werewolves.

Greta being evil made me a little sad, and I wanted Brendon to be Spencer's so badly, but there's no way for that to happen after all of that. I'm content to believe it happens later, though. Maybe in the sequel? XD

[info]lady_deathangel

December 22 2008, 05:07:45 UTC 3 years ago

Heeee! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I would love more werewolf!fic. I love them kind of a lot. :D

Thanks so much for reading! ♥

P.S. I love Greta, I promise! ;)

[info]goldenseal

December 20 2008, 05:40:41 UTC 3 years ago

amazing. this story drew me in and kept me breathless til the last moment.

[info]lady_deathangel

December 22 2008, 05:10:07 UTC 3 years ago

I'm really glad it could do that for you! Thank you so much for reading. <3

[info]loreleilynn

December 20 2008, 14:38:26 UTC 3 years ago

Wow, this was amazing. It's really difficult to pick a favorite part, but I think that for me, it's the world-building- how you showed the alternate reality without telling too much, and the way you weaved bandom characters throughout. I also loved all the scenes with Brendon playing the instruments, and when Ryan and Spencer transformed, and just everything about the last couple of scenes. I'm glad you're planning a sequel,though, because as much as I loved this installment, I kind of feel like the story isn't finished. I think that you left off in a place that, for me at least, there's still a lot to tell. Which is my of saying I'd fangirl any continuation you wrote for this pretty hard. :)

[info]lady_deathangel

December 22 2008, 05:12:50 UTC 3 years ago

I definitely got about halfway through this and realized there is WAY too much left to tell! So I'm glad this worked as an installment but also as a set up for the continuation.

Thanks so much for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it. ♥

[info]iz_is_ubercool

December 20 2008, 17:53:01 UTC 3 years ago

this was really really good :) you managed to use the vampire au and make it something completely different and wonderful. I hope you plan on a sequel :) although, with the amount of effort you've put into this I could understand if you didnt want to :) <3

[info]lady_deathangel

December 22 2008, 05:14:02 UTC 3 years ago

Thanks so much for reading! I'm glad it worked for you and that you enjoyed it! The sequel will probably be a ton of work but . . . Bandom Big Bang '09, perhaps?

♥

[info]iz_is_ubercool

3 years ago

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[info]mondegreen

December 21 2008, 13:13:01 UTC 3 years ago Edited:  December 21 2008, 13:22:27 UTC

Oh, wow, I really enjoyed this. I like that you chose to steer clear of 16 Candles 'verse and create your own universe. It's such a cool universe, too -- like how vampires and werewolves are somehow inherently enemies (enough so to the point where they even smell bad to each other), yet there are plenty of political machinations going on as well. I really like how -- I think it was Pete who pointed it out? -- werewolves tend to hide who they are, or who they can be, and try to suppress what comes naturally to them. And I especially love how that was contrasted with vampires -- most especially Greta, who wasn't willing to suppress anything inhuman about herself (to the point where she had no regard for human life). Super cool.

I really enjoyed the scenes were Ryan and Spencer transformed. It was a nice, homey refuge in a very suspenseful story. It was really interesting how you compared Ryan and Spencer's werewolf personalities to their human ones: mostly the same, but a little more raw. (It was cool how you wrote that one scene where Ryan, as a human, silently pouts and sighs to get what he wants from Spencer, and then compared that to a later scene where Ryan, as a wolf, is quietly and daintily dominant. That was a really neat way to show their relationship.)

And of course I loved the Brendon/Spencer. *__* There was a good balance of protectiveness that didn't cross over to skeevy possessiveness, which can happen all too easily. I liked that you made a point of not going that route. If there is a sequel looming in the future, I very much look forward to reading it! ♥

[info]lady_deathangel

December 22 2008, 05:19:30 UTC 3 years ago

This comment just totally made my day! I honestly can't tell you how happy I am that you enjoyed this fic so much. You picked out one of my favorite parts, too (Pete talking about how werewolves try to hide and blend in), and I REALLY love that you enjoyed the characterization of Greta.

And yes! Ryan and Spencer's time as werewolves was absolutely my favorite to write, and I'm relieved that the protectiveness felt balanced because I wasn't sure how it would read!

Anyway, thank you so much for your lovely feedback. I'm really glad you liked it. ♥

[info]topsyturvy

December 22 2008, 04:20:59 UTC 3 years ago

This was so great. I would really (really really really!!) love to see more. *yearns*

[info]lady_deathangel

December 22 2008, 05:20:08 UTC 3 years ago

It may be a while, but I'm already plotting the sequel so it's definitely coming! Thanks so much for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Also, your icon is love!

[info]greeenlikejuly

December 22 2008, 10:27:48 UTC 3 years ago

i think my brain is broken. i would say that you most definitely pulled this off and the tension running through the story and between the character was absolutely delicious. you have reduced me to flaily hands, so thank you.

[info]stepps

December 22 2008, 13:41:27 UTC 3 years ago

oh. wow. this was intense, hot, and so so so gripping. i loved the roles that everyone played, the relationship between bden and shane, and the pack, and lycen vrs vampire dynamics. really really fantastic. more? i'm looking forward to more :D

[info]pixiebullets

December 25 2008, 11:29:29 UTC 3 years ago

I really enjoyed reading this and omg, can't wait to read the sequel! The Shane part made me sad though. :((

[info]why_me_why_not

December 30 2008, 04:37:51 UTC 3 years ago

I can't even begin to tell you how much I loved reading this. Fantastic!

[info]allyndra

December 30 2008, 15:57:22 UTC 3 years ago

Wow, this is phenomenal. I started reading it yesterday, and I kept getting interrupted. You know how, with some stories, you can leave them with no problem, but other stories nag at your mind until you finish them? This was one of the stories that stayed in my mind, making me antsy to get back to the computer so I could finish it.

First of all, I have a weakness for good amnesia!fic. It's one of the cliches that I love. I thought you did a wonderful job of showing how Brendon was different without his memories, and showing what a tragedy it was that he'd lost so much. The scene when he played the piano for the first time and found himself crying was espcially poignant.

Secondly, I loved the way you got into Spencer's head and emotions. He was very self-aware; even when he was acting like an ass, he knew it. It was great to see the intensity of his emotions from the inside, and to see him dealing with them, learning to live with them.

Thirdly, I just really loved your writing style. The story flowed well, each POV was clear, and the descriptions were vivid. I was so pleased to see in the notes that there is a sequel in the works, because I could happily read in this 'verse for much, much longer.

I enjoyed this story so much. Thank you for sharing it!

[info]xsnarkasaurus

January 1 2009, 19:37:56 UTC 3 years ago

~chinhands~ well now i need the sequel, 'cause...well, what happens with Bob and Greta? Ryan and jon? Brendon and spencer? neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed. ~makes grabby hands~

[info]saba1789

January 4 2009, 12:17:05 UTC 3 years ago

This was awesome and I enjoyed reading it a lot! I'm also totally looking forward to an eventual sequel :D . Thank you so much for writing and sharing this!

[info]vixalicious

January 5 2009, 06:26:50 UTC 3 years ago

I really, really enjoyed this, the whole Laurel K. Hamilton feel of it. Will there be more? *hopes*
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